I’ll begin with the short version. It was disappointing. Both The Hills and The City were not unlike any other regular episodes. Neither of them felt like a finale of any kind. I am not pleased, because I spent a good chunk of time debating on which one I would lend my attention to, Hills/City, or the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show which was airing at the same time. I chose Hills, because I thought it would be entertaining, and would also leave me much less guilty about the bag of candy in my lap.
For those of you missed it, here’s the rundown. For those who still plan on watching it, look away now. Unless of course, you don’t give a shit or can predict what happened anyway, even though it was nothing. NOTHING HAPPENED!
The Hills
Okay. So first, Spencer and Brody are playing basketball while Spencer bitches about his evil, scheming wife. First of all, when did they even become friends again? Second, sure Spencer has right to complain about his wife trying to trick him into fatherhood, but how many shady things has he done before? He painted her apartment with graffiti, surprised her with a pinball machine (she didn’t like the pinball so it was probably more for him), picked out their house before she could get a say, and made her shut her mother out of her life. He’s pretty much the devil. I hope they don’t have that child. I think she will become pregnant in 2012 and that’s how the world will end.
Hmm then what happened… Heidi got some extensions, Audrina met with Justin Bobby and complained a lot. Neither myself, nor Justin know or care what she was talking about.
Then Kristin was all, bitching about leaving her sweet summer Barbie beach home, with Stacie the bartender who was apparently a squatter there. Who shows up to her house but Justin Bobby!
He was all like, “you do special things to me, be my girlfriend.”, and Kristin said “Okai fine.”
THENN.. Jade and Brody were at an engagement party, and Jade’s friend planted seeds in her brain that stemmed into thoughts of engagement and babies with Brody. Jade got whatever Heidi has and asked him about vomiting committing, but Brody was not having it. He was like, “Bitch, whatchu talkin’ about we just got back together an hour ago!”. On a side note, does anyone remember when he dated Nicole Richie?
That’s strange. Brody also told some of his friends that he might still want to do Kristin.
Moving on, I forget. But trust me it was nothing explosive. Lots of lead-ins with no results. The whole episode felt like when you’re about to sneeze but then you just, don’t.
Here’s what happened. Whitney designed her own clothes and Kelly Cutrone, who I both love and fear intensely, said she was Whitney’s bitch and will help her get a meeting with supermegaimportant Bergdorf Goodman. Kelly was like, “Don’t bring your bogan friend Roxy who screws everything up”
Bogan
Whitney went against the wise Ms. Cutrone’s advice and brought Roxy anyways. She wasn’t soo bad, but any good behavior is canceled out thanks to her epic fails at the photoshoot last week. Including spilling champagne on one of Whitney’s dresses. It was technically the model that spilt it, but Roxy made her hold and pop the bottle open, and this model took really good direction. Bergdorf Goodman basically reamed Whitney out and said she used weird material and her dresses make girls look fat.
Over at Elle Magazine, Erin was a huge bitch.
I look innocent but I'm loca
She went back and re-did Olivia’s work, then when Joe asked Olivia about the new work, she didn’t know shit. Meaning Joe also didn’t know shit. And went on air… Not knowing shit. Which means when he was talking on the Today Show he was basically making shit up, and (as my Grandma would say) flying by the seat of his pants. So Remember that… Anytime you watch a talk show, people talking on it may be bullshitting.
They all went to the principal’s office (Joe Zee’s office) for a little sit down and both Erin and Olivia turned 15. They bitched and swore and Erin was all, “choose me or her cause I don’t wanna work with her and she’s not invited to my birthday party.”
Joe had to remind them this wasn’t high school, and then Erin ran out of the room. Olivia said some bullshit I forget. And I think that was the end.
pure hatred
Pretty sure that was the only stuff that happened. But there’s more nothingness to enjoy because Whitney says the City has another season!! How? Why? I don’t know. Will I watch it? Yes. I admit I am part of the problem.
No comments:
Post a Comment